Archive for the 'Toys' Category

Company Unveils Waterproof Sheets For Sybian

Wednesday, July 19th, 2017

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Image courtesy of AVN / Sybian / Sheets Of San Francisco

You know how from time to time an invention hits the market that makes you go, “FUCK! Why didn’t I think of that first?!”

Because it’s so simple and obvious that you can’t believe it hadn’t been done before? Well, meet the new waterproof covering for the Sybian.

I know, right? Because from what I’ve seen of women using those things, that’s the first thing they need! These things are going to sell like hot cakes.

Oh, and the company is called Sheets of San Francisco and that’s so fucking awesome that I want to shake their hands.

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Porn GIF: Play With Your Toys Nicely

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017

OK, now we need to get this girl on America’s Got Talent…..

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Porn GIF: Fucking Traffic!

Tuesday, November 8th, 2016

We all have to put up with wankers on the road from time to time but this is ridiculous.

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Porn GIF: Charming!

Sunday, July 17th, 2016

*insert your own fakir joke here*

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Smartphone Linked Sex Toy Set For Release

Wednesday, May 25th, 2016

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A UK based sex toy manufacturer which began operations off the back of a remarkable £50,000 ($75,000+) crowdfunding campaign has seen its new product hit the mainstream news.

As revealed on AVN, The Crescendo is a sex toy which uses technology that could see it hooked up to a smartphone to deliver all kinds of funky vibrations that will help you with some pleasure.

It sounds absolutely fascinating, actually, and it has already been receiving positive reviews across the board. You can buy it, and some other products by MysteryVibe, here.

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Porn GIF: The Human Cuntipede

Sunday, January 3rd, 2016

Now, even if you’ve never seen The Human Centipede, like yours truly, I’m pretty sure you must be aware of what that movie is all about.

So it shouldn’t be much of a surprise that someone in porn decided to try their own rather more sexualised version of it, with the results being rather more pleasant than they were in Tom Six’s film!

In this case though, surely the girl at the end is really missing out?

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New Blog Swaps Guns For Dildos

Sunday, December 20th, 2015

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Although I’m of the opinion that it’s best to let right-wing gun nuts embarrass themselves as they can do it far better than anyone else could, I do applaud what is being done here.

It’s not just about embarrassing conservatives and members of the pro-gun lobby but it’s actually quite a clever way of satirising the belief of many on the right that sex and porn are, themselves, more dangerous than guns.

Plus it makes some idiots look even stupider than they did before. What’s not to love? You can see more of Matt Haughey’s splendid work on the official Tumblr dedicated to this idea.

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Are Cam Girls Misusing Vibrators?

Wednesday, October 14th, 2015

I’m fortunate enough in this line of work to be able to have the time to read some genuinely fascinating articles about porn and sex work in general. I consider myself VERY fortunate to read this fascinating article about net-controlled vibrators.

You’d never think that such a subject could lead to such an interesting article but it certainly has in this case. The gist being that some cam girls may be faking the usage of such devices when they’re tipped during live shows.

To be honest, I agree with the writer in that I don’t care if they’re faking it or not. I can well imagine a lot of people getting angry that their money isn’t getting ‘real’ orgasms – but I’d have to say they’re idiots.

If they didn’t notice at the time, then they obviously got what they wanted out of the situation, didn’t they? Definitely worth a read, though, superb writing.

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The fifi Male Masturbator: A Tight Hole When You Need One

Friday, October 2nd, 2015

fifi   Sex Toy For Men

Sometimes—or maybe most times, if our experience is anything to go by—all a man really wants is a tight hole to screw. Guys don’t necessarily care if their sex toy was molded to look like a porn star’s pussy, mouth, or anus. They can imagine any hole they want while they’re masturbating, or they can just experience the feeling and not think about anything at all. Chances are good that they’re not looking at the toy anyway. When it’s just a good wanking session you want, what you use to get off doesn’t have to be anything more than a hole that feels good. It’s why some guys apparently fuck fruit or warm pies.

That’s one of the greatest things about the fifi male masturbator, because this hole can be exactly as tight as you want it to be. Like the homemade sex toys that inspired it, fifi is a toy that you roll up yourself, which means it’s adjustable. And when you want more pressure, you can just squeeze it and you can feel the difference, unlike other male sex toys that are hard plastic on the outside. The foam core also retains heat, and combined with your favorite lube it just feels great. Who needs high tech for that? Not a fifi owner.

The fifi disposable sleeves make it so that you’ll never have to wash out your sex toy again. You can just toss the sleeve, set the fifi aside, and be done with it until the next time you use it. For lazy guys, it couldn’t get any better.

Whoever thought that a male masturbator needs to have a lot of bells and whistles has never used a fifi. Don’t be like those guys. Click here to get your own fifi. (Currently not shipping outside of the US)

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Macy Gray Pens Song About Her Vibrator

Sunday, August 2nd, 2015

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I think we might now have a big clue as to how she gets her hair to go like that.

That’s because Macy Gray has a very special relationship with her vibrator. So much so that she’s written a song about it! Like you do.

If you didn’t think that was….interesting enough on its own, wait until you see the music video. If you thought references to her ‘battery operated boyfriend’ (the song’s title is B.O.B.) would be done quite subtly, then guess again.

If you thought the video would follow suit, you’re in for a shock. Told you!

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Close That Door!

Sunday, July 26th, 2015

Yeah, it’s GIF time! You know you love it!

In this GIF, we get a demonstration of the most porn-y way ever to shut a door. Also, get this guy in the next world darts championships, he clearly has a special talent.

Pull!

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